Divorce With Children in San Antonio: Custody, Support and a Parenting Plan in a Bexar County Case

When a couple with children divorces in Texas, the court is deciding two things at once. One is the end of the marriage and the division of the property. The other is the future of the children: who makes decisions for them, where they live, when each parent has them and how they are supported. The second question is usually the one that keeps parents awake, and it is decided on its own legal standard, not by the same rules that divide the house and the bank accounts.

Barton & Associates represents mothers and fathers in Bexar County divorces that involve children. As a San Antonio divorce lawyer practice, we handle the divorce and the children’s orders together, because decisions about one shape the other. This page explains how a divorce with children works in Texas, what the court looks at and what you can do early to protect your family’s routine. The first consultation is free.

How a Divorce With Children Differs From One Without

The Family Code does not let a divorce with children proceed as a simple dissolution of the marriage. The petition must say whether the marriage produced or adopted children under 18, and when the spouses are parents of a child who is not already under another court’s continuing jurisdiction, the divorce must include a suit affecting the parent-child relationship (Section 6.406). The petition must also say whether a protective order or a related order is in effect or pending for either spouse or a child (Section 6.405). The result is two cases in one file, with one final decree that covers both.

The two halves use different standards. Property is divided in a way the court considers just and right under Section 7.001, and that standard looks at the spouses. The children’s orders are decided by the best interest of the child, and parents cannot waive that standard by agreeing to something the judge finds is not in the child’s interest. Our page on the suit affecting the parent-child relationship explains how that part of the case works on its own.

In Bexar County, the petitioner must attach the county’s standing order on children, property and the conduct of the parties to the petition, and it is served with the citation. It addresses the children, the property and the conduct of the parties while the case is pending. Read it when you receive it, and ask us if a term does not fit your family.

The Best-Interest Standard

The court’s primary consideration in every decision about the children is their best interest (Section 153.002). The statute does not list factors. Courts apply factors from case law, often called the Holley factors, which include the child’s emotional and physical needs now and in the future, any danger to the child, each parent’s parenting abilities, the programs available to help the parents, the stability of the proposed home and any acts or omissions that suggest the parent-child relationship is not a proper one.

Two rules shape how the standard is applied. The court must consider the qualifications of the parties without regard to their marital status or to the sex of the parent or the child (Section 153.003), so neither mothers nor fathers start with an advantage. And Texas policy is to encourage frequent and continuing contact with both parents who have shown they can act in the child’s best interest, and to encourage parents to share the rights and duties of raising a child after divorce (Section 153.001). Our guides on how judges decide custody and on the age a child can choose go further into how the factors are argued and why a child’s wishes do not control.

Conservatorship: Who Makes the Decisions

Texas calls custody conservatorship. A conservator holds the rights and duties of a parent, which include consenting to medical and psychological care, making educational decisions and receiving information about the child. The court usually appoints both parents as joint managing conservators, because the Family Code presumes that this arrangement is in the child’s best interest (Section 153.131). That presumption does not apply if the court finds a history of family violence involving the parents, and Section 153.004 adds more limits when there is credible evidence of abuse or neglect.

Joint managing conservatorship does not mean an equal split of everything. The order divides the rights and duties, giving some to each parent independently, some jointly and some exclusively to one. It must also name one parent with the exclusive right to designate the child’s primary residence and either set a geographic area for that residence or state that the parent may choose without a geographic limit (Section 153.134). Parents who agree on a plan have to cover the same points (Section 153.133). Our pages on shared or joint custody and custody rights and duties explain how those orders are built. If you are a father who worries about starting at a disadvantage, our page on fathers’ rights in Texas addresses it.

A contested case can turn on who will hold the right to designate the child’s residence. Either party may demand a jury on that question, on whether a parent should be a possessory conservator and on any geographic restriction. A jury cannot decide child support or the specific terms of possession, and the judge decides those (Section 105.002). A San Antonio child custody lawyer can explain whether a jury demand makes sense for your case.

Possession and Access: The Standard Possession Order

Possession and access is the schedule, and Texas has a default one. The Family Code presumes that the standard possession order gives a possessory or joint managing conservator reasonable minimum time with the child and is in the child’s best interest (Section 153.252). Parents often start there. The terms depend on where the parents live.

Parents who live 100 miles apart or less. The parent with the lesser time has the first, third and fifth weekends of each month from 6 p.m. Friday to 6 p.m. Sunday, Thursday evenings from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. during the school term, spring break in even-numbered years and 30 days in the summer. The summer period is 30 days if that parent gives written notice by April 1, and July if no notice is given (Section 153.312).
Parents who live more than 100 miles apart. The schedule changes to a choice between the regular weekends or one weekend a month, spring break every year and 42 days in the summer (Section 153.313).
Holidays. The holiday schedule overrides the regular schedule. Christmas is divided at noon on December 28, and the parents alternate which half they have each year. Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and the child’s birthday have their own provisions (Section 153.314).
School-release times. A parent may elect to begin weekend and holiday periods at school dismissal and end them when school resumes. The election has to be made before or when the order is rendered, and the court must honor it unless it is not in the child’s best interest (Section 153.317).
Children under three. The court must issue an order suited to the circumstances, looking at the child’s caregiving history and needs, and a prospective order that takes effect on the third birthday (Section 153.254).

The standard order is a starting point, not a requirement. Parents can agree to a different schedule, and a judge can order more or less time when the child’s age, the parents’ work schedules or safety concerns call for it. Our page on the standard possession order goes through the schedule in more detail. Parents who share the schedule more evenly often write one that fits their jobs, the children’s school and their distance from each other.

The Parenting Plan: What to Put in It

Parents who agree on the arrangement can submit an agreed parenting plan covering conservatorship, possession and access and the terms for changing them. If the court finds the plan is in the child’s best interest, it must issue an order that follows it, and the plan can be enforced like a judgment, including by contempt (Section 153.007). A well-drafted plan removes arguments before they start, so it is worth spending time on the details that the standard order leaves open.

Exchanges. Where the child is picked up and returned, who provides transportation and what happens when someone is late.
School and activities. Who handles enrollment, parent-teacher contact, extracurricular signup and the cost, and how decisions about a change of school are made.
Medical care. Who chooses providers, who handles emergencies, how the parents share information and how uninsured costs are divided.
Communication. How the parents talk to each other about the children, and how the children talk to the other parent during the other parent’s time. Many families use a co-parenting app or email so that there is a record.
Travel. Notice for trips, itineraries, passports and travel outside the country.
Babysitters and childcare. Some orders give a parent the first chance to care for the child before the other parent uses a sitter.
New partners. Parents sometimes agree on how and when children meet a new partner, though how far a court will enforce a term like that varies.
Changes and disputes. How a schedule change is requested, and a step such as mediation before either parent files a motion.

Our guides below cover several of these points, including the right of first refusal, travel abroad and private school costs. The family section of our site also offers co-parenting tips for families that want the plan to keep working after the decree is signed.

Child Support in a Divorce

Child support is set under the guidelines in Chapter 154 of the Family Code. The court starts with the paying parent’s monthly net resources and applies a percentage that depends on the number of children that parent supports: 20 percent for one child, 25 percent for two, 30 percent for three, 35 percent for four and not less than 40 percent for five or more. The percentage applies up to a ceiling on net resources that the state adjusts about every six years. For orders on or after September 1, 2025, the Attorney General’s notice in the Texas Register sets the ceiling at $11,700 a month, and above that amount the court may order more based on the parents’ incomes and the needs of the child shown by the evidence (Section 154.126).

Several points come up in nearly every divorce with children.

The schedule does not set the amount by formula. Texas has no automatic reduction for a 50-50 schedule, though the time each parent has the child is one of the factors a court may weigh in deciding whether to vary from the guidelines (Section 154.123).
Health insurance is handled separately. The court must provide for medical support, ordering coverage through a parent’s employment or another source at reasonable cost, which the Code defines as no more than 9 percent of the paying parent’s annual resources, or cash medical support if neither is available (Sections 154.181 and 154.182).
Support generally runs until the child turns 18, and it can continue past 18 through high school graduation if the child is still enrolled in a qualifying program (Section 154.002). Costs after high school, such as college, are generally something parents agree to in the decree.
Self-employment, bonuses, stock pay and variable income make the net resources calculation harder. The way income is documented matters.

A San Antonio child support lawyer can explain how the formula applies to your income. Our page on calculating child support walks through net resources step by step, and you can run a rough estimate with our child support calculator before you meet with an attorney.

Temporary Orders While the Divorce Is Pending

A divorce with children can take months, and the family has to live somewhere in the meantime. The court can enter temporary orders for the safety and welfare of a child, including temporary conservatorship, temporary support, an order restraining a party from disturbing the peace of the child or another party and a limit on removing the child from a stated area (Section 105.001). An order that excludes a parent from possession or access requires a verified pleading or affidavit. Temporary orders often set the pattern the court sees by the final hearing, so the first hearing is not a formality.

A temporary restraining order can also protect the children. It can bar a party from causing bodily injury to or threatening a child of either party, from changing life or health insurance that covers a child and from deleting data from a social network profile that a child uses (Section 6.501). It cannot exclude a spouse from the home where that spouse lives unless a protective order allows it. The details of how restraining orders work are in our guide to the temporary restraining order in a Texas divorce.

While the case is pending, some habits protect you. Keep the children’s routine as stable as the circumstances allow. Do not move the children out of the area or limit the other parent’s time without an order. Do not use the children to carry messages or ask them to take sides. Do not discuss the case on social media. And keep a record of who had the children and when, the expenses you pay for them and any changes in their schedules.

Mediation, Settlement and the Parenting Class

Most divorces with children settle, and the settlement usually begins in mediation. A court may refer a divorce to mediation on the parties’ agreement or on its own motion, and a mediated settlement agreement is binding if it states in a prominent way that it is not subject to revocation and is signed by each party and by any attorney present (Sections 6.602 and 153.0071). A court may decline to enter a judgment on an agreement if a party was a victim of family violence that impaired the ability to make decisions and the agreement is not in the child’s best interest. A divorce mediation lawyer in San Antonio can prepare you for the session and review the draft before you sign, because an agreement made in mediation is difficult to undo.

Parents who agree on everything can resolve their case more quickly through an uncontested divorce, though the court still reviews the children’s terms. Parents who cannot agree and whose conflict is entrenched may need our approach to a high-conflict divorce, where documentation, firm boundaries and careful use of court orders matter more.

The Bexar County local rules also require parents of minor children to complete a parenting course, such as Helping Children Cope with Divorce, before a divorce is granted, unless the court orders otherwise. Take the class early, because the court may ask for proof of completion before it grants the divorce.

When the Case Is Contested: Interviews, Evaluations and Trial

When parents cannot agree, the court decides after a hearing or trial. Bexar County’s local rules discourage calling minor children as witnesses. A judge can instead interview a child in chambers, which is mandatory in a nonjury hearing when a party asks and the child is 12 or older, and discretionary for a younger child (Section 153.009). The interview does not limit the judge’s discretion.

In a seriously contested case a judge can appoint a professional to evaluate the family. The local rules call for an evaluation to be completed within 90 days before a contested final hearing, so the timing affects the whole schedule of the case. Our guide on custody evaluations in Bexar County explains the interviews, the home visit and how to prepare. The strongest evidence in most contested cases is not argument but a record: school and medical records, messages between the parents, a calendar of who has done what for the children and witnesses who have seen both parents with them.

Family Violence, Protective Orders and the 60-Day Wait

The court cannot grant a divorce before the 60th day after the case is filed (Section 6.702), but the waiting period does not apply if the other spouse has been convicted of, or received deferred adjudication for, a family violence offense against the petitioner or a member of the household, or if the petitioner has a protective order based on family violence committed during the marriage. If the court believes a party may be a victim of family violence, it must tell that party about the right to seek a protective order (Section 6.404).

Family violence also affects the children’s orders. The joint managing conservatorship presumption does not apply to a parent with a history of family violence involving the other parent, and a criminal charge or protective order can change the course of the custody case in either direction. If you are accused, the criminal case and the divorce are linked, and your family lawyer and a domestic violence lawyer in San Antonio need to coordinate. If a child is in immediate danger, our page on emergency custody orders explains what a court can do quickly.

The House, the Accounts and the Children

Property decisions in a divorce with children are affected by the children’s needs even though the standards are different. A parent who will have the children most of the time often wants to keep the family home, and spouses can agree to postpone a sale until the children finish school, though the agreement should say who pays the mortgage, taxes and repairs and what triggers a sale. Our page on dividing the marital home covers the options, and a San Antonio property division lawyer can explain how the home, the retirement accounts and the debts fit together with support. Accounts held for the children, such as education savings plans, and life insurance that secures a support obligation raise their own questions, which our guides below address.

Moving, Travel and Relocation

The geographic restriction in the order controls where the parent with the right to designate the child’s residence may live. A parent who wants to move outside the permitted area usually has to ask the court to change the restriction, and the other parent can oppose it. Because a restriction is often set in the decree, it is worth attention in the first draft. Our guides below explain how moving away with children is handled after a divorce and what the rules are for taking a child abroad.

After the Decree: Changing and Enforcing the Orders

Orders for children can be changed, but not easily. A court may modify conservatorship or possession only if the change is in the child’s best interest and the circumstances have materially and substantially changed since the order, or on another ground listed in Section 156.101, such as a parent’s voluntary relinquishment of the child’s primary care for a period of six months. Child support can be modified for a material and substantial change in circumstances, or when three years have passed and the amount differs from the guidelines by 20 percent or $100 a month (Section 156.401). A divorce modification lawyer in San Antonio can tell you whether your situation qualifies, and our page on modifying child support explains the support side.

An order is only as good as its enforcement. A final order must tell each party to notify the other parties, the court and the state case registry of an intended change of address, employer or contact information at least 60 days before the change (Section 105.006). If the other parent does not pay support or does not follow the possession schedule, the court can enforce the order, and our page on child support enforcement explains the remedies available for unpaid support.

Where to Start

The first weeks often shape the case. A few steps help most parents.

Gather the records that show the family’s routine: school and medical records, childcare costs, the health insurance cards and the children’s activity schedules.
Write down the current schedule as it actually works, not as you wish it did, and keep a calendar of who has the children each day.
Collect your income records, including pay stubs, tax returns and records of bonuses or self-employment income, so that support can be calculated accurately.
Think about what you want the children’s week to look like in a year, and what you can offer the other parent that is reasonable. Judges notice parents who support the children’s relationship with the other parent.
Talk to a lawyer before you move out, change the locks, withhold the children or sign anything.

If your spouse has already filed, note the date you were served, because the answer deadline begins at service. Our divorce timeline tool shows how the stages of a case stack up, and the guide below on moving out of the house explains why you should not leave without advice.

More About Divorce With Kids in San Antonio

These guides answer specific questions in more depth. Each one is written for Texas and Bexar County.

How conservatorship works in Texas: the vocabulary of custody in plain terms.
The nanny clause: the right of first refusal and when to ask for it.
Taking kids abroad: consent and passport rules after a divorce.
Moving away with children: how courts handle relocation requests.
Who pays for private school: tuition in a San Antonio divorce.
529 plans in a Texas divorce: who controls the children’s college fund.
Child support and a parent’s death: life insurance and the support obligation.
Stock options and bonuses: how variable pay is counted.
Moving out during a divorce: who stays in the home while the case is pending.
Parental alienation in Texas: what the courts will and will not do about it.

Why Parents in San Antonio Choose Barton & Associates

The decisions in a divorce with children can last until the youngest child is grown, so you should know who will be in court with you. Barton & Associates has handled Texas trial work since 2001. Duane Graeff, our managing attorney, has more than 26 years in Texas state and federal courts, and Desirée Flye is a trial attorney on our family law team.

The children first. We build every proposal around the children’s routine, school and relationships, because that is what a judge is deciding.
Practical plans. We write schedules and support terms that fit your work, your finances and the children’s lives, not a form that will fall apart in a year.
Settlement and trial. We negotiate and mediate when they serve your family and prepare every case as one that may be tried.
Private by default. We treat what you tell us about your family as confidential from the first call.

Our San Antonio office is at 115 Camaron Street, San Antonio, Texas 78205. You can get directions to our office before your visit. For the first meeting, bring what you can of the following, and call even if you cannot find everything.

Any papers you have been served with, and the date you received them
Recent pay stubs, tax returns and records of bonuses or other income for both parents, if you have them
Health insurance cards and the cost of coverage for the children
Childcare, school and activity costs
Any current parenting schedule, text messages or emails about the children’s schedule and any prior custody or support orders
Any protective order, police report or CPS contact involving the family
A list of the children’s schools, doctors and activities

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce With Children in San Antonio

What happens to my children in a Texas divorce?

The court decides who holds the rights and duties of a parent (conservatorship), when each parent has the children (possession and access) and how the children are supported (child support). All three are decided in the same case as the divorce, and the final decree covers them together. The standard is the best interest of the child, and parents can agree on the terms if the judge finds they are in the child’s best interest.

Who gets custody in a Texas divorce?

There is no automatic answer. Texas presumes that appointing both parents as joint managing conservators is in the child’s best interest, and the court must consider the parents’ qualifications without regard to their sex. Usually one parent has the exclusive right to decide where the child lives, and the other has a possession schedule. Family violence, abuse or neglect can change that outcome.

Does the mother automatically get the children?

No. The Family Code requires the court to decide conservatorship and possession without regard to the sex of the parent or the child. A father starts on equal footing, and the result depends on the evidence of each parent’s care for the children, the stability each can offer and the child’s needs. A parent who has been less involved can still seek a meaningful schedule.

What is a parenting plan and do we need one?

A parenting plan is a written agreement on conservatorship, possession and the terms for changing them. If the court finds that the plan is in the child’s best interest, it must issue an order that follows it, and the order can be enforced like a judgment. Parents who cannot agree do not submit one, and the judge sets the terms after a hearing. A detailed plan reduces arguments after the divorce.

What is the standard possession order?

It is the default schedule in the Family Code. For parents who live 100 miles apart or less, the parent with the lesser time has the first, third and fifth weekends, Thursday evenings during the school term, alternating holidays and an extended summer period. Parents who live farther apart follow a different schedule. The standard order is a starting point, and parents can agree to something else or ask the court to adjust it.

How much child support will I pay or receive?

The guideline starts with the paying parent’s monthly net resources and applies 20 percent for one child, 25 percent for two, 30 percent for three, 35 percent for four and at least 40 percent for five or more. The percentage applies up to a ceiling of $11,700 a month in net resources for orders on or after September 1, 2025. Health insurance and other costs are handled separately, and the court can vary from the guidelines when the evidence supports it.

Does 50-50 custody mean no child support?

Not automatically. The guideline formula does not subtract support for an equal schedule. It applies a percentage to the paying parent’s net resources, and the time each parent has the child is only one of the factors a court may weigh when deciding whether to vary from that result. When parents split time evenly, one of them may still be ordered to pay, usually the one with more income.

Can my child choose which parent to live with?

A child’s wishes can matter, but they do not control. If a party applies and the child is 12 or older, the judge must interview the child in chambers in a nonjury hearing about who should have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence. The judge may interview a younger child. The interview does not limit the judge’s discretion, and the decision rests on the child’s best interest.

Can I move with my children during or after a divorce?

Not freely. The order names one parent with the right to designate the child’s primary residence and either sets a geographic area or states that there is no limit. A move outside the area usually requires a court order changing the restriction, and the other parent can oppose it. Do not move the children while a case is pending without agreement or a court order.

Do we have to go to mediation or take a parenting class?

A court may send a divorce to mediation on the parties’ agreement or on its own motion, and many Bexar County cases settle there. The local rules also require parents of minor children to complete a parenting course before the divorce is granted, unless the court orders otherwise. A mediated settlement agreement is binding if it states conspicuously that it is not revocable and the parties and any attorneys present sign it.

How long does a divorce with children take?

Not less than 60 days from the date the petition is filed, with limited exceptions for family violence. After that it depends on whether the parents can agree. A case that settles in mediation can finish soon after the waiting period, while a contested case with an evaluation, a trial or a dispute over relocation can take much longer. Our lawyers can give you a realistic range once we see how far apart you are.

Can I get temporary custody and support while the divorce is pending?

Yes. After notice and a hearing, a court can enter temporary orders for the safety and welfare of the children, including temporary conservatorship, a possession schedule and temporary support. Temporary orders often set the pattern the court sees later, so the first hearing deserves careful preparation. An order that excludes a parent from the children requires a verified pleading or affidavit.

What if my spouse has been violent or abused the children?

Tell your lawyer right away and keep any police reports, photographs, medical records and messages. The joint managing conservatorship presumption does not apply to a parent with a history of family violence involving the other parent, and the court can limit access. You can ask for a protective order, and the 60-day waiting period does not apply when the other spouse has a qualifying family violence conviction or you have a protective order.

Who pays for health insurance, private school and college?

Health insurance is part of the support order. The court orders coverage through a parent’s employment or another source at reasonable cost, up to 9 percent of the paying parent’s annual resources, or cash medical support if neither is available. Private school and college are not set by the guidelines, so they are usually negotiated and written into the decree. The terms should say who pays, how much and for how long.

Talk With a San Antonio Divorce Lawyer About Your Children

What is decided in the first months of a divorce, including the temporary schedule, the support amount and who lives where, often shapes the final orders. Speak with a divorce attorney in San Antonio at Barton & Associates about your children, your goals and what to gather before anything is filed.

Call our San Antonio office at 210-500-0000 or complete the online Free Consultation form to schedule a confidential meeting. The office is at 115 Camaron Street, San Antonio, Texas 78205.

Main Category: Family Law
Practice Area Category: Divorce & Separation
Barton & Associates, Attorneys at Law
115 Camaron St, San Antonio, TX 78205
Office: 210-500-0000